The taste of frustation is pretty sticky, Ok, that's my point of view, some times i wish you could was it away easily, but you can't.

frus·tra·tion noun \(ˌ)frəs-ˈtrā-shən\
Definition of FRUSTRATION
1: the act of frustrating
2 a : the state or an instance of being frustrated
b : a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs.

For my case these days the last one is the most acure definition of frustration,in every sense.

Well what to do with frustration, in order to avoid getting stock in it.
What I have been doing is trying hard to get that has been frustration me even in my dreams, but I can't seem to reach it.So given so I been trying to change it.
But I cant you see sometimes is about Obsession and all that comes from it, but I have been thinking that is not that is just an other mission that I have to fulfill before i get to the next stage.

But I need help, is not usual that I ask for help but this time I really need you're help.

When you feel like a cloud is over you head . . .

Sometime in life,you feel like a little cloud is chasing you every where you go, but is that so . . .
I firmly believe that, sometimes is useful specially in sunny days because you could get burn. . .
What i mean is that sometimes this little clouds give us perspective about certain situations that we couldn't handle any other way, because the brightness of the sun could hide more interesting stuff .


Man's word

When I was 8 years old,that summer i spend it at my aunt at this green place located in the central part of Mexico.
At that place i couldn't go out and pay with the rest of the kids, because is wet as Vancouver, and I have a strong allergy to humidity.Given that those days that I went outside I spend them watching flowers ,lady bugs and some time catching fireflies in the early night.
One of those days I went so happy that I found this little tinny bunches of flowers full with colors , I remember that they also smell really nice too, so I ask my aunt about the name of those little beautiful and amazing flowers, and she told me something that I came to understand completely a few years ago.
The name of he flower as my aunt say , because I really don't know if that's the real name, was and still is at least for me MAN'S WORD.
You see the point is that they are really beautiful, but since they are bunches of little flower once you cut them from the little bush,They fall apart.
Yeah sounds really familiar because once you believe in the word of a man ( once you cut them) they fall apart.
Isnt that sad.
I wish I could find a picture of those little flowers I wont promise anything but at least ill try.

Lantana camara

Arbusto de baja altura, con ramas cuadrangulares, pilosas. Follaje perenne formado por hojas aovadas, acuminadas, de superficie rugosa. Flores pequeñas, dispuestas en capítulos abundantes desde la primavera hasta el otoño. Especie sensible a las heladas. Se cultivan distintas variedades de acuerdo al color de su floración.

Does your path have a heart?

"Anything, anything you do is one of a million paths.
Therefore you should always keep in mind that a path is only a path.
If you feel you should not follow it you must not stay with it under any conditions.
To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life.
Only then will you know that any path is only a path
and there is no affront to oneself or to others in dropping it, if that is what your heart tells you to do.
But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition.
I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately.
Try it as many times as you think necessary.
Then ask yourself and yourself alone, one question.
This is one question that only a very old person eventually asks.
And my benefactor told me about it once when I was so young and my blood was so vigorous for me to understand it. But now I understand it, and I'll tell you what it is:
Does this path have a heart?
All paths are the same, they lead nowhere.
They are paths going through the bush or into the bush.
In my own life I could say I have traversed long long paths but I am not anywhere.
And my benefactor's question has a meaning now:
Does this path have a heart?
If it does the path is good,if it does not it is of no use.
Both paths lead nowhere but one has a heart and the other does not.
One makes for a joyful journey and as long as you follow it you are one with it.
The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong, the other weakens you.
The trouble is that nobody asks the question.
And when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart the path is ready to kill him.
At that point very few people can stop to deliberate and leave the path.
A path without a heart is never enjoyable.
You have to work hard even to take it.
On the other hand, a path with a heart is easy.
It just does not make you work at liking it.
For me there is only traveling on the paths that have a heart, or any path that may have a heart.
So there I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge for me is to traverse its full length.
And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly!"

by Carlos Castaneda.


I Love SALES i can not deny that, i love the way the MKT people handle to make people believe that they are buying for less than the regular price.
I not only about manipulating people to buy like a desperate, id the way the do it.
Well today, I was thinking about SALES.
Whats a SALE ?
According to Merriam Webster a SALE is:

SALE noun \ˈsāl\

1: the act of selling; specifically : the transfer of ownership of and title to property from one person to another for a price
2a : opportunity of selling or being sold : demand

But about SALES in a matter of people, and I'm not talking bout slaves or so, The only thing that Im saying is that this way of manipulation of the stuff that we buy could be apply in the way that our lives has been developing this days.
What I'm saying is that sometimes we SALE ourselves to the wrong or the trendy ideas.
Should we think about the trends that we follow a little more ?
If that true , whats your price , what triggers your trends ???


Today I was looking for a place to hide from me but i couldn't find it :S
As crazy as it sounds people tend to hide from themselves , A few weeks ago before I graduate from school , at class we where talking about how people escape from there reality, and it does not matter how amazing the work or life is the escaping happens because a reason.
I firmly believe that , this reason is the hiding from themselves , but why would we wanted to escape from ourselves ?
If you think about it , the way our life develops depends only on our crazy, radical, instant, deeply thought decisions,but why if we don't like where we are?
We stay , and sometimes we escape. . .

No theme

Today I have no theme at all, Im just a little frustrated

Madurar (1)

Últimamente he desarrollado la extraña habilidad de desconectarme cuando estoy trabajando para pensar en otras cosas mientras lo hago, Hoy estuve pensado sobre lo que en verdad significa hoy y desde mi punto de vista madurar y no puedo decir mucho sobre que es lo que es madurar pero si sobre lo que no es:
- Ganar dinero
- Casarse ( sobre todo si esta boda es algo forzado o algo que para cumplir con un requisito social al que has decidido atarte VOLUNTARIAMENTE)
- Ser padre, ser padre no es ser maduro, sobre todo si no es por elección
- Tener cosas sobre todo si estas cosas también son parte de ese requisito de sociedad
- Tener muchos estudios Sobre todo si estos estudios no sirven de nada para tu persona y solo para hacer mas dinero
- Dejarse llevar por la corriente
- Tomarse la vida super en serio

- Lo que se decide
- Lo que no se decide
- Lo que se deja atras por un sueño
- Lo que se pierde cuando no se decide con la cabeza fria
- Las acciones tomadas cada una de ellas



En los antiguos tiempos oir voces cuando uno estaba solo era considerado una locura, sobre todo cuando se comentaba con otras personas.
Ahora es algo mas que normal y no hablo de las personas que escuchas voces solo por que si hablo de todos nosotros, como?'
Muchas veces cuando estamos solo escuchamos voces , claro por telefono jeje, no esu n alivio a la soledad que sentimos cuando estamos lejos de casa , por que cuando uno cuelga el telefono.
La misma soledad de la que eramos victimas anterior a la llamada regresa de una manera mas cruel y fria que se siente al despegar el audicular de nuestros oidos o al botar ese pequeño trozo de circuitos llamado blue tooth.
Bueno la locura puede que no sea por el simple hecho de escuchar las voces aquellas que interrumpen la peculiaridad de nuestro dia con noticias buenas o malas o solo para escuchar voces familares que despejan ese sentimiento que se tenia guardado desde hace rato y que al oir el dulce sonido de esa voz.
Sea para lo que sea el reconfortante telefono nos aleja o nos acerca mas a nuestras personas queridas.
Comento esto debido a que el otro dia tube yo como mesera mas conversacion con los integrantes de una familia en una mesa que ellos entre si puesto a que cada uno de ellos tenian su propio smartphone y no cruzaron palabra....
sera que al tratar de acecarnos mas a los demas perdemos contacto con los mas cercanos.
Esto forma parte mas de una paradoja de comunicacion que trato de analizar mientras estoy lejos o sera cerca ???


Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted
but getting what you have.

A VAN day . . .

I had been here in VAn for more than 130 days, but I love every single day, how they start how the end, and how sometimes you cannot distinguish betweeen one an the other !.
But today I really spend some time analizaing how thisday has been developing.
Every day I wakeup and I already have ligth I know is not the sun shine perse, but is ligth, then the first thing that i smell at the main exit of the building is a little essence of chinesse tea, then all the folkore of the people in the street of my dear nd stinky china town.
I walk down hill to the buss stop under that big elm tree and i sit and see how people walk to who knows where with the rare faces and the mental notes , and sometimes not that mental and more self spoken notes.
then my bus comes. . . .

Who I ??

Sometimes when people ask me about wHO I admire, relating to history I used to have no answer but now I do.
Is not only because shes in every 200 pesos bill, is because her story and her knowledge is fascinating.

Arraignment Of The Men

Males perverse, schooled to condemn
Women by your witless laws,
Though forsooth you are prime cause
Of that which you blame in them:

If with unexampled care
You solicit their disdain,
Will your fair words ease their pain,
When you ruthless set the snare?

Their resistance you impugn,
Then maintain with gravity
That it was mere levity
Made you dare to importune.

What more elevating sight
Than of man with logic crass,
Who with hot breath fogs the glass,
Then laments it is not bright!

Scorn and favor, favor, scorn,
What you will, result the same,
Treat you ill, and earn your blame,
Love you well, be left forlorn.

Scant regard will she possess
Who with caution wends her way,—
Is held thankless for her “nay,”
And as wanton for her “yes.”

What must be the rare caprice
Of the quarry you engage:
If she flees, she wakes your rage,
If she yields, her charms surcease.

Who shall bear the heavier blame,
When remorse the twain enthralls,
She, who for the asking, falls,
He who, asking, brings to shame?

Whose the guilt, where to begin,
Though both yield to passion's sway,
She who weakly sins for pay,
He who, strong, yet pays for Sin?

Then why stare ye, if we prove
That the guilt lies at your gate?
Either love those you create,
Or create those you can love.

To solicitation truce,—
Then, sire, with some show of right
You may mock the hapless plight
Or the creatures of your use!

I'll leave you with the link to her biography:


As you know for the next 8 days including today, I wont get in to facebook, the reason for this to happen is because I really want something , ans as they say to get something you want you have to make sacrificies , and this is one that im offering in order to get that thing that i want !!!

So given that i cant logg into my facebook ill be abusing his blogg just to express myself :D


I was walking around the other day, when I started to think about how many times when you are in you're comfort zone, the way you dress, talk,express, move and walk change in a way that some how you see you're self blending in the social environment.
Is this because we want to belong to this social organism or is just because that the way human beings are design.
The idea of having to blend yourself in the society surrounding you is a little bit scary if you think about it.
Because that means that your losing a part of your self just to fit.
But what could we do to avoid losing our selves , This is not a self experience, this is what i recall watching people do to save them self from a society .
* Dance the way you want when everybody else is drunk , in that way they wont remember.
* Singing the nasty or the most annoying songs that you like , when you're alone at your house
* Walk in funny unique ways when you fell happy
* Laugh , scream , cry , jump
* Write emails to yourself with the critics of the people around.
Anymore ideas ? ? ? ?

Doll Time

When I was a little girl i wasn't exposed to a new age reality of media. It was the lately 80's and the begging go the 90's .
Back then I wasn't aware of how important it is to own a Barbie doll and don't get me wrong i had one , actually I had several of them is just that i didn't know how to play with them at all.
When I was 8 i moved to Mexico City, what a change , but since i got asthma , i couldn't go out and play little a so called normal girl.
The first time that I went out to play with my neighbors, It was a revealing experience, I had been watching from my window how they played and how they borrow stuff, so i assume that the game was really interesting and nice.
That day I went to play with my dolls, I remember they where beautiful almost new, since I didn't pay with them at all, Then I realize that the game was a little bit boring because they where emulating REAL life as they see it , getting married , having boy friends , compiling with each other to see who had the most expensive and new doll.
I was really shock about that I thought the game was about gaming using every little part of our imagination and not trying that hard to be like the so called best one.
I remember telling my mom that day , mom why they try to not be them selves, why are they trying so hard to be all the same ??
OMG when I look backwards I think that a really important issue that keeps on standing out in every single aspect of my life.

Getting lost

One thing that I really love about getting lost even if sometimes is scary, i love to find my way back home, or back to a safe place.

Waiting . . .

Wait ! ! !
How could we wait the unexpected. . . or even the thing we expect to happen.
Always be ready is one of the things that they teach you at the scout boys, but how could you always be ready for thing in life . . . i guess you never are and even is you're ready for them WHEN are they going to happen . . ., maybe sometimes is better that they don't happen at all.

Fear . . .

Fear is one of the topics that I'll keep on repeating over and over again in this blog or my personal notes at home.
But I kept on learning about it every day.
So here it goes, fear, as once Yoda said
" Fear is to Angry , Angry is to hate, Hate is to suffering"
Even though is just a movie it has something that got my attention in that little quote, and that is that the root of every single human problem, well that's what i think at least.
Let me explain fear of not being what you are or not having what you want leads you to behave in a different and even weird or scary.
I think tha mos scary part about being afraid is that sometimes, (most of the times) the think that you fear the most is YOURSELF.
I recently discover that I really fear commitment in a very terrible way. . .


Sometimes news come in a very strange way,and it doesn't matter if their good or bad, and the end i think they just got to you ears when you need them.
Lately i have been a little more quiet than usually am, is not because i'm depress or sad is just because i have circles when i just want to think and write or draw, but as you see and read this time is writing.
Well today i got the best news ever , one of the best ones and I'm really happy about it, i wont tell you what it is because that's not the topic here.
News , how to be ready . . . or how could you prepare you self for being the creator of those news by asking about them.

5 TOP features of a Peter Pan Man

Recently I read a book about Peter Pan Syndrome And I really believe that is every where in every guy, in different levels but still so i'll leave you with the main characteristics:

1) Sustain a higher grade of affection needs
2) Has a excess of ego centrism and narcissism
3) Has a lack of resistance towards frustration
4) Develop a little capacity of self-criticism
5) Has difficulties to accept symmetric relationships with the opposite sex.

So watch out !

Ephemeral . . .


Lonliness . . .

The other day i was walking to my house at night , when i started to think about loneliness, is it a state of mind or is more about where are you and how that makes you feel?

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